It's been two years and some change since my life began.
After spending 27 years basically watching things happen, I got tired. I've never cared about being thin because
quite honestly I think curves are way more attractive. I always got butthurt
when the Hub would try to bring up getting healthy. He has always been
attracted to me, not my size. I think he had more fun with me being heavier because he could body slam me without fear. NO HE ISN'T ABUSIVE LOL... There's just something about a man being able to pick you up that just ahhhh well lol... that's another note.
Having gastric bypass has been the best thing I've ever done for myself. Weight is a touchy thing with people. Each person has their own story/struggle. What works for some doesn't work for all. There are so many different paths to weight loss and when it comes down to it, you have to do what works for you. I didn't consider bariatric surgery a serious option initially because I didn't know much about it until I met a wonderful friend who had gone through it herself. Getting her input brings me to another interesting aspect of the surgical world... the people who have it. For every sane person who decides to go through with the surgery, I think I've met two batshitcrazy people who get it as well. I firmly believe, if you go into this thing for the wrong reasons it will show. There is a process you have to go through before having the surgery and it includes a psychological evaluation. I'm not gonna lie, I thought I bombed mine because I went to talk about my medical history and general things and I ended up in tears venting about issues I had with my mother. I like to help when I can... if that means passing along my experience and opinion, I can do that. But in some cases I hated being that person to get hit with "Heyyyy.... Random Mutual Friend said that you had this... I want it too... What do I have to do to get Tricare to....." When it comes down to it, I don't know any tricks because I did this thing genuinely. I didn't hit my doctor with a sob story about not being able to face myself to get a boob lift. I didn't lie about the many failed attempts at losing weight on my own. I didn't fabricate a list of deadly diseases and cancers running wild through my family with obesity topping the list of risk factors. I didn't care to fit into any trendy clothes. All I wanted and still want is to give my family the chance to have an active mother and wife... I want to play damn it. I want to fit in a swing. I want to go down a slide... I want to get on a seesaw and actually get lifted without forcing it. I want to run upstairs when I forget something and not die from loss of breath. I want to not be the one who dies of a heart attack or diabetes before 35... I JUST WANT TO LIVE.
So I did it... bottom line. I had to get selfish and do something for me that I couldn't do on my own. I've gotten mixed reactions from some friends and family. I honestly think some people just don't know how to accept change in others. If all you have to say is "Don't lose too much weight... or Geeeeez when are you gonna stop.... or There was nothing wrong with you in the first place... OR my favorite reaction of all: the backlash of them assuming you're judging them. There's nothing like that "Don't look at me... you had a surgery to get where you are" vibe that some people give off.
I am very thankful that most of the people in my life have been and are supportive. The good guys have been there to keep me going and I could not have done it without them.
After the loss of half of me, I was left with quite a bit of excess. I controlled it mainly with being anal about what I wore and making sure things worked for my body. I was blessed to be approved for skin removal and reconstructive surgeries to take away all my baggage. The gastric bypass itself was a piece of sugar free cake. The plastics were a bitch. In all, I had three surgeries over a four month span.
March 2013 I had a procedure similar to a lower body lift.
The doctors cut around my entire waist and removed excess from my stomach and
back... they even claimed to sculpt my butt... I can tell you not much changed
there. They didn't have anything to work with lol... My butt was fat... and the
fat melted away. Thousands of stitches held me together and they took about ten
pounds of flesh off. Almost four months later, I'm still numb. But I am more
than happy with my midsection.
May 2013 I had an arm and thigh lift. Even with all the
weight loss, I still have thunder thighs. The excess flab was removed and they
are still THICK! No complaints there though... I need my curves. I still have
swelling and won't see final results for 6 to 12 months post op though. I
developed a seroma, or knot filled with pus/ serum along one of my thighs that
I am still dealing with... I have to get it drained weekly and it has been a
monster. My arms look totally different in my eyes. One of them looks slightly
smaller than the other, (Asymmetry is common for plastics) but I'm thinking
it's still a bit swollen. 76 staples and countless stitches made moving my arms
hard. This procedure was the worst thing I have ever been through physically,
topping natural childbirth. It has almost been two months and one of my arm
pits is still open and the flesh is just starting to regenerate. Both arms
leaked for lack of a better word for about a month. I literally had to align
panty liners along my incisions several times daily inside my compression
sleeves to keep them dry. Most surgeons here don't even want to do arms and
thighs because of the sensitive tissue and the tough healing process. The cuts
on my arms and legs were basically in the shape of the letter T. My biggest
issues were the areas on both my arms and thighs where the cuts met, the cross
sections of the 'T'. These areas just did not want to heal. Like I said before,
one of my arm pits are still 'open'. The other arm and both inner thighs took
about five weeks to close.
June 2013 I had a breast reduction and lift. After
pregnancies, breastfeeding, and the major weight loss, my funbags were just
empty sacks. If I bent over they looked like super long balloons with water or
sand in the bottoms. Not cool. Thankfully, the surgeons were able to use some
of my underarm flab to fill in my breasts and construct what I think are very
nice, round, perky boobies! Healing is still ongoing. They cut my nips off, cut
down the front, and under each all the way around my underarms. My
side/underarm areas are still healing, but I am more than pleased with the
surgery.
I just had my final appointment with my team of surgeons
yesterday and today marks three weeks since my last operation. I AM HAPPY. I
almost flipped out on one of the doctors when he suggested one more procedure
to take away these little love handles I'm left with directly underneath my bra
line. I think they're awesome and make my body feel real. Even after all that I
went through, he still sees room for
more 'fixing'... I had to make him understand my goal was not to have the
perfect body. I'm keeping my handles. If they don't go away with working out
when I'm cleared, then they will forever be with me. I have to wear compression
clothing for about two more months. I will probably wear some pieces more
depending on my comfort. If I had to, I would do it all over again. It has been
amazing to have the girls watch my transformation and be so caring, involved,
and intrigued. To have them be proud of me makes it all worth it. I can see the
same glimmer in the Hub's eyes when I catch him staring at me. He always tells
me how amazed he is at me. They just don't get it... I did it all in the hopes
of getting more time with them... because they are just that magnificent. I am
proud of THEM... I am amazed at THEM...
I don't know what I did to deserve them, but I'm determined to move
forward making it clear that I am thankful for them and make the best of this
life I can now actively live.
